


What Makes Us Human

by Crucified_To_A_Star



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Coffee Shops, Immortality, M/M, Slight Existentialism, Sunsets, as in this is a long slowburn fic, just fluff for the first two promise, slowburn, the first two parts aren't rated M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 09:44:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crucified_To_A_Star/pseuds/Crucified_To_A_Star
Summary: After being alive for longer than he could imagine, Daniel’s life is quite bleak and boring, desensitized to everything around him. It had been that way for centuries and would probably continue to remain that way. Or it would have had he not met a brightly dressed man in his routine coffee shop stop and he made him question exactly what it means to be human.





	What Makes Us Human

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This idea came to me once when I was chatting with my partner about immortality and humanity and what exactly makes us human. This idea came from that. So, at first I wasn’t sure how I was going to do this. I’m going to make it three parts: 1. Dan’s POV 2. Phil’s POV 3. Possibly an explicit omnipotent POV? Depends. Lemme know if a pt 2 is something that is wanted. The first part came out super long oops. Enjoy xx

Prologue:

The brilliance of the orange sky in front of Daniel no longer made his eyes water in sheer appreciation. The color was nearly boring now, the pink it faded to plain, and the indigo and violets merely just another color in the muddy mix. Sunsets were no longer vibrant and beautiful and awe-inspiring, rather just another daily chore; a habit he couldn’t kick. Daniel had seen too many sunsets to fall in love with the color any longer, he had seen too many of the colors blend together; he had long forgotten the mirth in seeing such a sight.  
He was unsure as to why he spent night after night watching it on the rooftop of the apartments he lived in, why he spent so long watching the colors bleed and fade. Maybe he was killing his time, knowing he had an infinite amount of it. Maybe he liked the sting of knowing everything was boring and somehow it managed to hurt him. Maybe he liked to depress himself with reminiscing on the fact that, at one point, he had thought it to be beautiful. Maybe he liked to hate himself. Maybe he just had time to pass and never could find it in himself to look away from the colors. Whatever the reason, every night he could, Daniel would watch the sunset.  
London was often overcast, the sky typically unviewable, but on the nights where the sun was able to crawl in between the clouds, he would watch it. The golden rays would dive between the bustling city traffic, drenching the grey city in a warmth it barely knew. There was a time, back when cars were carriages, that Daniel had loved it. He didn’t know when he stopped loving it or when he grew bored of it, but the last time he remembered genuinely loving it was then. He leaned against the railing further and sighed, feeling the chill of the spring air and the wind carrying the scent of the city and pollen and the bakery down the road. None of them appealed to him, none of the scents piqued his interest.  
Daniel had been alive for too longer to be interested in such boring things as scent.  
Daniel barely remembered when his curse was placed, when he was banished to a lifetime of walking. He was only twenty-six when the curse was placed, his body remaining forever in the state; he was young and unmarried and he was punished for it. He hardly remembered the reason, either, just that he had broken some fair lady’s heart and she had paid a witch to curse him. He didn’t remember the woman at all; he didn’t remember what she looked like or her name or how he had even met her. He only remembered her as the one who paid the witch to curse him. It was funny, Daniel thought, that in all the stories he had read the immortal being remembered their crossed lovers and they remembered the day the curse was placed, but in reality, Daniel didn’t even remember what year it had happened, nor what the current year was. Time was a construct of a dying human. He no longer had to fear death so he no longer had to fear life. Along with that came the fact that he never had to fear time; more specifically, running out of it.  
The problem, though, was that in the beginning Daniel was excited. He had been overjoyed at the concept of immortality. He was able to view the entire world without a single care, without a single problem. He could not die and he could not run out of time. The witch had given him the guidelines of his curse months after the initial encounter, dropping them by his house in a small wooden box which he had kept to this day. Daniel didn’t pay it any mind though initially. He didn’t care. He was going to explore; adventure. He was going to live.  
Slowly, though, Daniel learned the negative effects to living forever. After experiencing the world and all it had to offer, things got boring. There was no longer the thrill of adrenaline as he knew he could not die. There was no longer the threat of not getting to see everything. There was no longer the excitement of seeing something for the first time.  
Once Daniel had settled, a few hundred years after the curse, he had read the letter finally. It merely explained that he could only break the curse once he learned how to truly love someone; how to love someone more than himself, how to love someone fully and wholly and unconditionally. It had explained that Daniel was selfish and took too much and gave too little and the way he treated those who loved him was not fair. The curse promised that once he learned to love with everything in him that it would be lifted. It was funny, because by that time, Daniel had already forgotten the woman he had scorned so deeply.  
Daniel did not search for love, despite the letter. Rather, he searched for purpose.  
He wasn’t sure what era he had been born into or what area he had lived, but he saw the growth of Europe and the rise of England and he decided he liked the island country. Eventually London was built out of steel and grey and spikes and cathedrals and Daniel felt as though he too were built of such. A certain fondness held his heart for the original wooden town, but modern day London was a far better treat with historic buildings that Daniel remembered being built.  
He wasn’t sure where he had been born, but he now considered London his home.  
That was where he had settled for two centuries.  
In current day, Daniel worked at a law firm. He had chosen the career path as something challenging, but after being alive for so long, it was quite boring. He enjoyed biding his time, though, and the money from the job wasn’t bad. It certainly helped pay for the luxury apartment he was currently standing on top of.  
He drug himself from his mind, ruffling the curls that wound his hair, his manicured nails dragging gently through. The sky was navy now, clouds rolling in. The break in gloom had ended. So, as the sky told, Daniel was no longer welcome outside.  
The moon did not like to reflect on beings as ancient as she.  
The saying was old, extremely old, and it made Daniel grin softly as he made his way down the stairs. He hadn’t thought of it in a while.  
When he entered his apartment, it was quiet. The two bedroom penthouse was far too large for a single person with minimal belongings, but yet he stood in the open living room all the same. The living room portion itself was sunk in the floor a step, the grey sofas turned slightly in the hexagonal shape. The TV hung on the furthest wall in between two large picture windows, the cream curtains drawn as always. A single glass and black metal coffee table sat in the center over a black rug. The floors were grey hardwood, Daniel’s favorite, the walls a darker grey trimmed in white. He dropped his leather jacket onto the back of the couch as he passed, heading into the spacious and joined kitchen-dining room. The kitchen was shaped like an open sided rectangle with white marble counters running the far wall and making of a short wall that seperated the dining room out. An island sat in the middle of the kitchen with matching counter top decorated with wine and stems, ready for his evening glass. Daniel opted to forego, heading through the kitchen and dining room and through a large archway in the dining room and into the short horizontal hallway. At one end was the master bedroom and at the other the smaller room with the bathroom in the hall. Daniel headed for his room.  
The bedroom was the size of the living room, with as open of layout as the entry had. His bed was against the furthest wall, nestled into the further corner like a small cave. It was a simple black bed frame and elegant black sheets and duvet with white pillow accents. The wall opposite to the bed was entirely a window, heavy black, grey, and white curtains were drawn across the whole of it, a simple and elegant grey chaise facing the window a few meters from it. Behind the chaise, though, was Daniel’s favorite possession within the apartment. His grand white piano sat facing the window, the black tufted bench hidden beneath it, the lid closed. It was sleek and well taken care of. Through the years the only thing that hadn’t bored him had been the piano. Daniel headed for the other doors lining the wall the entry was on, entering his closet and changing into his silk brown pajamas. He had decided to play.  
He drew the curtains, filling the room with the pale lighting of the city, the overhead lights dimmed.  
He moved the bench out, the legs not scraping on the grey wood, instead moving silently from the padding on the its feet. He perched himself and with a delicate hand, he opened the lid. His fingers danced lightly over the keys, allowing himself to be reminded of the simple beauty in life, the wonders of music, before his fingers fell heavily on a few notes. A simple scale to start, a wake up for his fingers, reminding them of the feeling of bringing out such beautiful notes. Before long he started a song, one he had played for years. It was dark, gloomy, but not depressing. There were lots of deep notes, the occasional sad high thrown in. It was a gentle song and Daniel was constantly reminded of rainy days as he played the song. It felt like the sensation of a rainy day.  
Daniel played and played until the night was dark and even the city life was slowing down. It wasn’t until his fingers ached and his back was sore that Daniel stopped. There was nothing in life that Daniel lost himself in anymore- nothing except music.

 

Daniel’s mornings went a lot like his nights; boring and lonely. He would wake at nine, make breakfast, eat, brush his teeth, and dress before heading to work. Work went much like his mornings; boring, but less lonely. His coworkers were nice, but Daniel wanted nothing to do with them outside of a business perspective. He enjoyed the work he did and he enjoyed the activity of going down the street to the cafe to buy a hot tea every morning, but everything was routine and boring and life had no surprises left for Daniel.  
So, again, before he knew it, he was relaxing on the roof of the apartments, the sky clear and sunny. It was a beautiful spring day Daniel would think if he noticed that type of thing anymore.  
The sun was setting now, though, the sound of the city a mere white noise at this height. Everything was soon drenched in vibrant pink and purple and it should have been lovely. It really should have.  
By the end of it, though, Daniel merely sighed and found his way back into his apartment. It just wasn’t lovely enough. 

Chapter one:  
Daniel’s coffee runs never changed. The baristas had long since memorized his order of a cranberry tea and typically had it brewed and ready for him by the time he arrived at 10:35 exactly. Today, however, was slightly different.  
The rain that poured outside made the cab he took to work late, making his coffee run also late. He arrived at the shop at 11:06, his hair thoroughly soaked. He schluffed off his transparent raincoat, hanging it on the back of a chair. He decided to work in the cafe that day, bringing his work laptop in its special carrying case. He decided if he was going to be already breaking his schedule might as well make it worth it. He ordered his cup of cranberry tea for in house before sitting at his corner table, secluded. The barista brought it over to him in no time.  
The tea was dark and hot and he let it cool as he watched the rain pour down the foggy window in sheets. The cafe was nearly empty save for a woman across the room at a high table with her own laptop out and a couple seated on the long bench closer to the ordering counter. The barista’s were chatting idly and the music was quiet and relaxing and Daniel found himself more calm than he had felt in a long, long time.  
He watched a hunched figure dressed in a black raincoat run past the window before darting inside, the bell jingling their arrival. Daniel watched as the figure pulled the hood off, revealing a slightly damp head of black hair, ruffled like a damp crow.  
“Hello, Anne.” The voice was deep and sweet and warm as summer and it caught Daniel off guard. He hadn’t had someone catch his attention so easily in so long, Daniel had nearly forgotten it to be possible.  
“Hey, Phil, how are you doing today? Running late, again?” The barista that Daniel had known for years and had never asked the name of responded. Anne. It suited her. She was petite with a short brown bob and the name just fit.  
“No, actually, I have the day off, but I was planning on working here for a bit of the time.” Daniel hadn’t seen his face yet but he imagined the man was grinning. Daniel was intrigued by this person for reasons unbeknownst. He was just easy to pay attention to, Daniel guessed.  
“Oh, nice,” Anne responded brightly, “What can I get for you today?”  
“I think I want a caramel and marshmallow macchiato please.” That was awfully sweet sounding, Daniel chided in his mind.  
“Coming right up.” Anne said and turned quickly.  
Phil thanked her before moving to the table across from Daniel, unzipping his raincoat and setting it on the back of the chair, revealing his own laptop bag slung over his body.  
Daniel snuck glances out of the corner of his eye, taking in his appearance. He was tall, possibly as tall as Daniel himself. His hair was black and pushed back stylishly and he wore glasses. His profile was shaped oddly, but in a way that made Daniel want to paint him rather than be repulsed and the thought of doing so crossed his mind. He wore a long sleeved shirt that was the ugliest shade of dark magenta toned purple that Daniel could think of and made of what almost looked like sweater material and black jeans.  
Daniel, for some reason, couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. It was possibly the color of the sweater. It was absolutely putrid.  
Anne brought him his drink and he sipped it gently after thanking her. Daniel couldn’t keep his eyes off of him and at some point, he forgot he had even had his computer out and open.  
“If you’re here working, too, you might want to turn your computer on.”  
Daniel nearly jumped out of his seat at the thick voice being directed at him.  
“Pardon?” Daniel finally turned to gaze at the man full on, their eyes meeting. Daniel felt his body still. His eyes were luminous; the brightest blue he’d ever seen, glowing with a silver-ish tint in the grey lighting. Daniel couldn’t remember how to breathe, uncomfortably so. It had been so long since he felt so captivated with another human, that he had nearly forgotten the feeling.  
“I said, you might want to turn your computer on. The screen is black. You can’t work if it’s not on.” His tone was light and playful and the gleam in his eyes made everything about him look wonderfully mischievous. His lips were full and nicely shaped and drawn back in a gentle smile.  
“I hadn’t noticed,” Daniel confessed after a few moments, he voice suddenly much quieter, “I was zoning out. Thank you for reminding me.”  
Phil grinned, “No problem. I’m Phil by the way.” He reached a hand out.  
Daniel stopped himself from saying I know, I heard, and opted for, “Daniel James.” He took his hand. It was warm and soft and Daniel had to stop himself from inspecting it. It had been so long since he had been enamoured. So, so long.  
They broke apart and Phil grinned, “Daniel James is awfully formal. May I call you Dan?”  
Dan? No one had called Daniel Dan. He nodded, though, “You may if you’d like.”  
Phil was quite an enigma, Daniel decided in that moment. “Sounds good, Dan. Well, I ought to let you get back to your own work.”  
And just like that, the moment was dissipating and Daniel was reminded they were in a coffee shop with a woman in headphones reading a book, a couple cooing on the bench, and the barista’s gossiping behind the bar. He was reminded that it was raining and he was supposed to be working and that time wouldn’t stop for Phil whilst it was continually paused for Daniel. The thought sent a pang through his fingertips, one that felt like electricity; unfamiliar. He turned on his computer and got to work silently. 

 

Hours later Phil stood, stretching with a groan. “Alright, Dan, I’m heading out. I’ll see you later, yeah?”  
Daniel wasn’t sure what to say. How would he know when? How would he know where? Still, he said, “Yeah.”  
Phil beamed and just like that, he disappeared into the now foggy spring day. Daniel was left in the coffee shop that had gathered more patrons since the rain had quit. He felt odd at watching Phil leave. It dawned on him that the barista’s had mentioned that he came in regularly earlier, greeting him as an old friend. Anne had mentioned that he was running late somewhere. Possibly, Daniel could see him again tomorrow at the same time if he waited. 

Daniel went home after Phil left, his drive to accomplish work having disappeared. He no longer wished to sit alone in a crowd and be surrounded by people he would outlive by centuries. He no longer wished to exist amongst mortals.  
Daniel almost felt bad for his opinion of people, but he couldn’t help it. Centuries of living with and outliving them taught him just how plain humans are.  
Except for Phil.  
Phil seemed interesting.  
The thought stalled Daniel as he was running his shower. It had been ages since he thought of someone as interesting. Daniel couldn’t even think of the last time he thought of anything as interesting besides how far the technology industry had come. Daniel hadn’t thought of another human as interesting since he could remember.  
There wasn’t much unusual about Phil, though. He was just another person. What about him made him so interesting?  
Daniel washed his hair and body, almost like he was trying to wash away the bright blue eyes seared into his mind.  
He did not succeed, though, and when he found himself perched against the railing of the apartments roof, his wet hair drying curly in the wind, he found himself unable to stop from staring at the blue of the sky where the sunset had not touched yet. It was bright, but not nearly as beautiful as Phil’s eyes.  
Daniel was still confused. He had seen blue eyes before. He had seen green and blue and brown and hazel and silver and gold and every other color imaginable and yet those blue eyes set in a kind face were enough to keep him confused.  
The sunset tonight was violet and indigo and lots of purples and it reminded him of the godawful purple jumper Phil had worn.  
When the sunset finished and the sky was dark and the city was bustling with nightlife, Daniel found himself meandering back to his room and to the piano. He seated himself and played a song so sweet, so bright, he felt as though the sun would rise before the end. It wasn’t a song he remembered learning, but his fingertips knew it so easily he might as well have played it a million times. Perhaps he had.  
The song made his shoulders tremble as he worked over the keys, his heart stuttering occasionally. By the time he finished his eyes were damp with tears he wasn’t shedding.  
Daniel was still confused. 

 

Daniel typically woke up around nine and lazily got ready and headed to work carelessly.  
Today, Daniel’s brown eyes shot open at seven. His heart was racing and he climbed out of bed quickly. He ate what might not have been considered a healthy breakfast for his size (two pieces of toast and an orange) before he brushed his teeth and washed his face. He fixed his hair in the mirror, patting down the fuzz and fluff and defining his curls. He spent an entire hour in his closet choosing an outfit. He settled for a sedate black jumper with white roses embroidered up the backs of the sleeves that was both soft and warm and framed his lanky body nicely and a pair of black jeans and white shoes. He gave himself one last self-conscious glance in the mirror before he disappeared.

He was hours early for work and he let his team know he would be working at the coffee shop once again, before he darted down the sidewalk towards the small cafe.  
Once inside, he was nervous. There were more people than yesterday. Phil might not want to sit and chat with so many people.  
Why did Daniel care though?  
“Oh, hello, Daniel. You’re here early.” Anne said brightly.  
For a moment, Daniel was caught off guard that she knew his name before he was quickly reminded that she asked it every time for his order. He gave he a soft smile, “Yes, I’ve been hoping to get more work done.”  
Anne nodded brightly, seemingly ecstatic that he finally was responding to her with words rather than soft nods. “Yeah, it seems that you have had a lot on your plate as of lately. You spent a long time here yesterday, as did Phil. Projects?”  
Daniel shrugged slightly, “I guess one could say. I just wanted a break from the office, to be completely honest about it. I am mostly doing paperwork for the firm as of now. No new cases for me for a while.”  
Anne nodded vigorously again, her pink lips shiny with gloss and her big brown eyes twinkling with a light blue shadow. She truly was an adorable woman. “I understand. Phil’s company just took on a big client and he’s typically running late to everything. I think it’s awfully funny how he always stops no matter how late he is. He truly is a man of habit.”  
Daniel nodded. “He seems like a good man.” He wasn’t sure what he meant by it or why they were talking about Phil but suddenly he felt more like the other barista from yesterday than a customer, the two gossiping.  
“He is!” Anne gushed, her smile wide, “He is always so polite and nice and he is never in a bad mood, at least not here. He’s also always got a joke to tell.”  
Daniel wasn’t sure how to respond but he gave a soft smile, the bell dinging from behind him. “Maybe someday I’ll ask to hear one of his jokes.”  
“I hope you’re talking about me, because I’ve got plenty.”  
Daniel jumped at the sudden voice behind him, the deep tone familiar and sending goosebumps over his neck. Daniel flushed for the first time in a long time and suddenly felt twenty again. He turned just enough to glance over his shoulder. Sure enough, Phil stood behind him wearing the same brilliant smile as yesterday and a button down navy shirt with white spots decorating it. Dark blue jeans accentuated his long legs and whilst standing, Daniel noticed the fact that they were the same height. Daniel was awed considering he hovered almost everyone he met, having been considered a giant in the years he belonged in. “I just might have been.” Daniel said smoothly, his voice scratchy suddenly. He cleared his throat and turned fully. “Go on then, give me your best one.”  
Phil looked so pleased at being asked for one of his jokes, his face positively glowing. “Okay, what do you call a fly with no wings?”  
Daniel cocked a brow as a he thought, Anne giggling behind him as if she had heard it before. “I’m not sure, what?”  
“A walk.” Phil gave his own deep giggle, his tongue poking out from between his teeth slightly.  
Daniel’s eyes tracked the movement as he digested the joke. It took him a moment before he broke from his fixation on his tongue which slid back into his mouth. “Oh,” Daniel said finally, “I get it.”  
Anne stopped giggly and he glanced at her as she spoke, “Yeah, it’s one of his favorites.”  
Phil continued to beam at Daniel. “Did you not like it? I have more.”  
Daniel hummed and shook his head, “I enjoyed it. It entertained me as a joke should. I’m not much of a laugher though.”  
Phil shrugged, “I guess I’ll have to make you one then.”  
Daniel wasn’t sure what to say to that before Phil moved past him and ordered his drink, paying for the both of them without Daniel accepting.  
“Do you want to sit with me, Dan?” Phil offered politely and Daniel nodded, his words unforming. There was something so strange, so different about this human. He was such a bright color in a city of grey and Daniel was so entranced by it. He had never seen a color to describe Phil- he wasn’t sure it existed. Phil was unique, even in a world that Daniel had seen far too much of.  
They sat together today, working on their laptops as other people chattered amongst themselves, the sun beaming down in the wet city. Daniel hardly got any work done, even after the four hour mark. He had spent too many minutes glancing upwards, stealing quick peeks of a quiff, of round blue eyes that appeared more true blue today, of glasses, of bow shaped lips. He spent too long wondering why he was so interested in this man.  
“So, Daniel, I think I’m going to be heading off. Is there any possibility you are able to sit with me again tomorrow? I quite enjoy your company. You’re quiet but make me feel less alone.”  
Daniel nodded, his throat tight. “Yeah, I will be here again tomorrow.”  
Phil seemed to radiate light at that. Daniel wanted to look away, but rather he swallowed thickly and gave a small smile back. “I’ll see you then.”  
Phil left and Daniel sat alone, feeling his chest ache for a moment.

Once again, Daniel watched the sunset on his roof, the golden rays melting the city into vibrant shades of purple and pink and again Daniel’s mind was focused on an irreplicable shade of blue. Daniel wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but he enjoyed the way it made his fingers tingle and the lightness of his body, so he didn’t dispel it right away. He hoped the feeling would last as he hadn’t felt something so lovely in so long. 

 

Two months passed and Daniel had learned Phil’s work schedule and had unintentionally synchronized them. They hung around the cafe a lot together, Anne always there to chat with them whilst the shop was empty. It was April when Phil finally asked Daniel, “Would you like to get together sometime outside of work and the coffee shop?”  
Daniel looked up, doe eyes wide. “Not working? What would we do?”  
Phil shrugged, the watery greyish light reflecting in the windows off of the freshly rained streets made the stubble on his chin apparent and Daniel wanted nothing more than to run his fingers over it gently. “We could go drinking, see a movie, take a walk. We could do anything that you’d like to do.”  
Daniel nodded slowly. “Would you like to come to mine?”  
Phil looked overjoyed at the invitation, “When?”  
Daniel felt uneasy at making the plans but went along anyways, “Tomorrow? It’s my day off. How does five work? I can make supper.” Daniel wasn’t sure as to why he offered and he felt his cheeks warm, but it didn’t seem to put Phil off.  
Phil nodded eagerly, grinning brightly. “Write me your address,” He handed Daniel a napkin and pen that he dug from his laptop case. Daniel did so, feeling his fingers shake as he wrote the numbers and letters, his body suddenly jittery. Once he finished he slid it over with a small smile, to which Phil returned tenfold, “It’s a date then. I’m going to head off.”  
Daniel only nodded, watching as Phil disappeared from the shop, his stomach knotted tightly. Was this excitement? He wasn’t sure. It had been so long since he last felt true and pure excitement.  
Daniel rushed home that night and took a bath. His bathroom was large and open, as was most of the apartment. The walls lined with a marble counter, gold accents, and a large bath on the wall opposite of the door, a shower case on the left and the sink and toilet on the right. Everything, like the rest of the house, was monochrome. The floors and counters marble and the walls a softer shade of grey than the rest of the place. Daniel wasn’t fond of many colors, but grey seemed to suit him well enough. Possibly, that was why he liked London so much.  
The room smelled like the sweet orange and clove bath he drew, bubbles popping gently against his reddened skin. His hair was still dry and his clothes strewn across the bathroom, the soft black bath mat flipped upwards and tangled as he had rushed to get in. Daniel, for the first time in a century, grinned.  
He felt his face nearly crack as muscles he hadn’t used in decades pulled and tightened. He felt his eyes squint and his nose crinkle and suddenly he felt so youthful he wanted to cry. He felt alive for the first time in ages. He wasn’t positive why, but he was blaming it on Phil. Now he was positive that this was excitement. 

 

Daniel had woken early again, the sunrise prying his eyes open as he had forgotten to close his blinds once more. He went about his usual routine: small breakfast, brushing his teeth, washing his face, and styling his bedridden curls. His outfit choice of the day was a simple pair of grey trackies and black tee shirt. He decided if he were to cook in any outfit too nice he would ruin it, certainly.  
He decided a simple roast baked with stew vegetables sounded nice. He prepared the roast by dousing it in an herb, olive oil, vinaigrette, and red wine marinade before replacing it in the fridge to set. He spent the next hour preparing the carrots and potatoes and shallots and garlic cloves, and then readying extra potatoes to mash as a side dish. He put the roast in the oven and the vegetables in the fridge. He couldn’t help but feel like he was over-doing it; like he was being too much. It was too late, though, as he had already prepared everything. He decided he needed a dessert as well, though there were few he knew how to make well. It had been so long since he had cooked for a guest, baked for someone other than himself, that he nearly forgot the joy of making a meal for multiple people. He decided a loaf of cranberry pound cake never hurt and set himself onto making that.  
By the time four o’clock rolled around and he had settled the vegetables and had the potatoes boiling for the mashed potatoes, he was exhausted. He hadn’t had time, though, to work himself up into being nervous, which was a positive. He darted into his room and picked his outfit; a black silk short sleeved top that framed him nicely and comfortable fitting black dress pants. He shoved on some black socks as to not appear to strange, though he would not wear shoes in his house.  
He touched up his face, washing it a second time and re-defining some of the curls that had been frizzed due to the steam and sweat of cooking. Daniel felt his nerves kicking in, felt the newness of the situation.  
The realization of such floored him; the fact that he had been alive for so long and finally, there was something new. 

He was finishing mashing his potatoes with garlic and butter when the doorbell rang. He quickly finished and ran to the call button where a blank screen sat. He pressed it on and Phil was standing there. “I’ll let you up.” Daniel said, before Phil spoke. He rang the buzzer and Phil disappeared, the screen going blank once again. Daniel headed for the kitchen, setting the lid on the pot. He felt his heart racing, the blood pumping through his veins at a speed he didn’t recognize. Too quickly there was a knock on the door and he didn’t have long enough to compose himself he felt. He rushed to the door anyways and opened it, trying not to blush in the heat of the moment.  
Phil stood on the other side of the door holding a large bottle of peach moscato. His blue eyes were tucked behind his glasses still, his hair styled effortlessly. He wore a simple long sleeved tee shirt with thin, faded, and uneven white, yellow, red, green, and black stripes in a slightly ribbed material overtop some black jeans. He looked stunning and for a second Daniel forgot the fact that he was supposed to invite him in. He forgot his manners, his hosting; he forgot everything besides how brilliantly blue Phil’s eyes looked against the mash of colors of his shirt and the neutral colored hallway.  
“Dan?” Phil finally said, his smile bright.  
Daniel jerked out of his stupor and stepped to the side. “I apologize, please come in.”  
He shut the door behind Phil, watching him slide his shoes off by the door. His scent hit Daniel immediately; it was sweet but in the same way orangesicles were; tangy and mouthwatering and Daniel held himself at a distance.  
“Your home is lovely!” Phil was glancing around the part of the apartment he could see, the open design leaving little to the imagination.  
“Thank you,” Daniel said and then shifted his weight, deciding on if a tour would be awkward. “Would you like to see the rest?”  
Phil beamed, “Please!”  
Daniel gestured to the open living room and the open picture windows decorating it, “The casual space,” Phil giggled at the description and it made Daniel’s stomach knot. He paid it no mind as they wandered quietly to the kitchen. “This is the kitchen. You can set the wine here if you don’t want to carry it.”  
Phil gave him a cheeky grin, “It’s for self defense in case you decide to murder me.” It took Daniel a moment to realize he was joking. He felt his shoulders soften and a smile curve his lips gently. He didn’t have to be so formal with Phil, he remembered. Phil wasn’t a buisness partner. He was a friend, at least Daniel thought he was.  
Daniel led them to the dining room situated with a simple black wood table and matching chairs with a few white placemats that had the only walls in the main space, hiding the hallway leading to the rooms and the living room from sight, only the kitchen and archway to the hall were visible. It was private and cozy for meals and Daniel appreciated it. “It’s not too extravagant but here’s the dining area.”  
Once he entered the hall, he flipped the light switch on and the pale artificial lighting flooded the room, making Phil’s cheekbones stand out against the harsh lighting. Daniel often just left his windows open rather than dealing with artificial lighting, the hallway light hardly being used.  
Daniel tore his gaze from Phil and coughed, clearing his suddenly dry throat. “Down there is the bathroom and at the end is the spare room. Over there is my room.” Daniel gave a quick glance at Phil and decided he’d show him his room, disappearing down the hall and hearing Phil shuffle after.  
The room wasn’t messy and it smelled of his cologne and Daniel was almost concerned that this was too private to show Phil, but he led the way in anyways. Phil gaped at the room size. “This is incredible. Where is your partner?”  
Daniel cocked his head at the question, “I do not have a partner, nor a roommate. I live alone.”  
Phil turned to him, looking confused, “Isn’t this a lot of space for someone who lives alone?”  
Daniel shrugged uncomfortably, “I do not feel isolated in large spaces anymore. Quite the contrary, actually. I have lived alone for far too long, if that is what you are implying.”  
Phil shook his head, his expression as bright as ever, “You probably haven’t lived alone for that long, Dan. You are so dramatic, I quite like it.”  
Daniel felt his cheeks heat. He wasn’t sure what Phil meant and he didn’t ask. The other man turned his attention quickly to the piano facing the window. “You play?”  
Daniel nodded and then felt stupid as Phil wasn’t facing him. “I have played for many, many years. It’s the only hobby I have kept throughout time.”  
Phil’s dazzling blue eyes were back on him, stealing his breath once more. “You truly are theatrical with your words, I must say I have an appreciation for that. Could you play me a song?”  
“Perhaps after dinner,” Daniel said smoothly, though his fingers twitched nervously. He hadn’t played for someone in centuries. Would he even enjoy his music? Daniel wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out in fear of the inevitable rejection. He also wasn’t sure where the sudden surge of insecurity came from, but he was intent on ignoring it. “Speaking of, we should eat.” 

 

Phil sat at the table and talked at Daniel while he readied their plates. At first he had insisted on helping, but Daniel had corrected him in manners and that he was the host. Phil had sat and started telling him stories of his coworkers that Daniel hardly followed. It felt so intimate, like Phil was so used to sharing his day with Daniel that it was routine and it made Daniel’s heart thud in a way he was unused to.  
When he entered the room with their stems and the wine Phil had brought, he noticed just how natural it looked to have Phil sitting at his table, like he wasn’t a guest.  
He disappeared quickly and brought their plates back, setting one in front of Phil and the other in front of his own seat.  
They were quiet for a moment before Phil asked, “Do you say grace?”  
Daniel shook his head, “I have not believed in God since the idea of a monolithic religion was first created.”  
Phil’s smile was crooked and goofy, “You sure are interesting, Mr. Daniel James.”  
The meal went the same way most of the preparation had; Phil talked and Daniel was engrossed. Perhaps he didn’t understand a lot of what Phil was talking about, but the innotations of his voice and the hand gestures and how expressive his face was all kept Daniel entranced in the story he was telling.  
They ate and Phil talked and Daniel listened for a solid two hours before Daniel noticed the time. As Phil ended one story, Daniel stopped him from another, “A change of scenery, mayhap?”  
It was such an old phrase and Daniel felt archaic suddenly, like a Grecian marble statue come to life from the museum. It caught Phil off guard as well, but the smile that broke his face made Daniel’s heart stop. He was concerned that he needed to see a doctor for the problems he was having currently. He wondered if the witch’s curse affected his heart or not.  
Daniel stood and walked around to Phil’s side and offered him an arm, which he took with a slightly bemused expression. Daniel said nothing as he led them out of his apartment and to the roof access stairs at the end of the hallway. He had four neighbors at the top of the build, the top floor separated into four apartments. He hardly ever saw or heard anything from his neighbors and truly never wanted to. The stairwell was short and the big green door creaked when it opened despite it being an extremely new building.  
Daniel let Phil walk out first, following him onto the rooftop and heading for the usual corner he stood in. Phil glanced around seeing all he could of London from the top of such a tall building. Daniel leaned casually on the railing. Phil did not join. “Come, look out over the city.” Daniel’s offer was genuine, but he also wanted the man next to him, he wanted to smell the mouthwatering scent that seeped off of him and he wanted to feel the warmth of the other man next to him. Phil shook his head, his eyes darting nervously, his hands shoved into his pockets. “No, no,” He gave an awkward laugh and shook his head, “I, uh, actually, I’m afraid of heights. Like, deathly afraid of heights.”  
Daniel smiled softly and pushed away from the railing, walking to him. He stood close, closer than he had thought he would be comfortable with. It was as they stood there that Daniel realized he was just taller than Phil- only by a hair. Hardly anyone ever reached his height, but Phil was close. It was almost arousing, the idea of someone being as tall as he. Daniel smiled softly once again, his expression soft. The wind brushed both of their hairs, Phil’s tumbling slightly in the breeze and Daniel’s curls bouncing. Daniel reached up and fixed a strand that had fallen into Phil’s eyes and replaced it. “You have nothing to fear.” His voice was deep, quiet, and lost in the breeze like the years of time Daniel never paid attention to. “I am here. I wouldn’t let you fall.”  
Phil didn’t seem to breathe as they stood there, but Daniel couldn’t stop. Once again the scent from before lingered in his nose, the deep and entrancing scent of something damn-near citrus filling his senses. The sun had started to set, the golden rays painting all of London in something other than grey and the sky was turning lilac and neon pink and orange and Phil’s eyes suddenly looked like the ocean’s in Greece and Daniel was suddenly reminded there were things in the world that were beautiful.  
It was Daniel’s turn to hold his breath. He hadn’t felt true awe at something in centuries. He hadn’t felt true admiration for something since he had travelled the world for the second time. He hadn’t felt completely enthralled or encapsulated by something in so long he had forgotten how it felt to be submerged in something other than himself and the lonely ache of depression. The gold rays were decorating the entire side of Phil’s face, lighting his eye into a green pool, whereas the other side of his face was completely blued out from the dim sky and his eye was more gunmetal blue than anything. His cheekbones were outlined against both lightings and his neck was taught and occasionally constricted as he tried to breathe again. Daniel couldn’t remove his eyes from the split man, the color difference like something out of an archaic painting that Daniel could have been around for the start of. His fingers twitched to run the length of the body in front of him, his own body longing to lie and praise it for hours. He hadn’t felt something like this ever, not before the curse and certainly not after. It felt warm, it felt new, and it felt exciting. He hadn’t felt this alive since the day he was cursed.  
Phil nodded slowly, drawing Daniel out of his trance, “Okay.” Was all he said.  
Daniel remembered the situation, remembered his fear, remembered the fact that he was trying to coax him to the edge of oblivion and stare into it with nothing but him as a safety net. Daniel suddenly felt his body knot at the idea of being the only thing that Phil trusted to keep him safe.  
Daniel made his way to the banister and leaned his back against it, watching Phil inch his way forwards. Daniel reached a hand out in offering.  
Phil took it and Daniel drew him close easily, resting his back against the railing as well. “Just don’t look behind you for now. Just enjoy the breeze. Enjoy the sound of the city, the baker down the street preparing for tomorrow, the warmth of the sun. Just enjoy the way the world seems to stop when you’re encased by the eternal glow of the sun. Just enjoy the change from day to night and the shift in the sky and the refreshing restart of another night. Just enjoy the moment, don’t fret about the fear of death. It’s worthless to spend time being scared of then when you can just enjoy the now.” Daniel wasn’t sure where his words came from; it was all rather hypocritical of him, but somehow they felt so true in the moment.  
Phil’s only response was a deep inhale.  
It took them awhile but eventually, Daniel felt him relax next to him. Swiftly, Daniel turned around, Phil watching him suddenly as he tipped his chest onto the bar and leaned on it, tucking his arms over the edge and watching the last of the sunbeams dip behind the skyline and the sky being overtaken by orange and violet. Phil turned slowly, much slower than Daniel, and gripped the railing tightly. “I won’t let you fall, Phil. Just relax and watch the city.”  
The air was becoming chilled, the sky layers of colors Daniel couldn’t remember ever enjoying. The sound of the city was background noise and the busses that honked and hissed were no longer annoying, the occasional police siren simply another addition to the ambiance.  
Daniel no longer felt like he was frozen in existence. His skin felt warm, his body alive. Was this was made him human? 

 

They made their way into the apartment after an hour of staring at the freshly darkened sky. It was like every night at sunset the sky cleared solely for the purpose of Daniel watching, but it always clouded after the sun left and he was alone again. Tonight, however, he was not alone.  
“So, will you play for me?” Phil asked as they sat in the living room, sipping on a red wine Daniel had pulled from his cupboard. The night required something deeper, less sweet.  
Daniel took another drink before licking his lips and nodding, “I think I will. Come.” He disappeared, his feet gliding over the floors, Phil’s steps louder than his.  
Daniel disappeared into the room, knowing Phil was close behind.  
He stopped in the middle of the room and stared at the piano. He felt strange for a moment, an emotion flooding his veins with hormones he hadn’t felt in years. Phil was behind him then and the sound of the door closing caused goosebumps to fly over his skin. He came to stand just behind him, the heat radiating off of his body and warming Daniel’s soul.  
“You don’t have to, you know. I just was curious, is all.” His voice was gentle and reassuring and Daniel felt his knees weaken. Rather than respond he moved forwards and pulled out the piano bench silently, setting his wine on the body of the piano. Phil moved, his steps still so loud in the quiet of the apartment. Phil sat on the chaise, though he did not face the window. Their eyes were level in the natural night light and Daniel felt his heart thundering in his chest. Suddenly he felt human. All of this felt too real, too exciting. Daniel hadn’t felt like this in ages, hadn’t felt like he truly existed, but now he felt it all again. He felt everything.  
Daniel snapped the lid of the piano up and his fingers didn’t take the time to play a scale, rather heading straight for the song that was singing through his heart. It was bright and airy and dark with lots of extreme highs and extreme lows, all melting together into a perfectly balanced melody that caressed both men. The room felt like silk, the air nothing but water and wine and the tension holding Daniel together was cut like a ribbon. Daniel felt his eyes wet and his cheeks heat and his body was falling apart in a beautiful way. He played the song that decorated his soul in that moment, the unfamiliar feelings rushing through him. He felt his world crumbling and relighting itself all in a spectacular fire that burned everything it touched. He felt like he had when he watched London fall the first time in the great fire; he felt the nostalgia of watching what he loved so burn down, but the feeling of knowing that London would recover kept him together. This time, he felt himself burning, but he knew he would come back.  
The song was intense and by the time it was over Daniel felt as though he should weep or drink the whole bottle Phil had brought with. He glanced to the other man finally who looked as wrecked as Daniel felt.  
“You’re a beautiful pianist, Daniel James.” Phil’s voice was hoarse; unfamiliarly so. Everything about tonight was unfamiliar and new and Daniel wasn’t sure what to think about it.  
“Thank you.” His voice was croaky as well. He took a drink from his wine and set it back on the piano. “I can play a less depressing song now.”  
Phil settled into the chaise and Daniel played for him again. This time, he kept his eyes on Phil, watching his blue eyes occasionally flutter shut. He watched as he swayed to the music and watched as he drifted. He felt his heart ache and his skin tingle and he felt himself becoming more infatuated with the man. He felt more alive now than he had in centuries. Daniel was suddenly so aware of life that he almost couldn’t believe he had gone for so long without it.

After Daniel played more songs and Phil had finished off half of the bottle of wine, they decided to call it a night.  
Daniel was standing with him at the front door, caught somewhere between wanting to kiss him goodbye and ask him to stay the night. He didn’t want to wake up to an empty apartment, the need for company sudden and urgent, but he used the guise of concern for the tipsy man as a healthy, more reasonable, excuse. “I am worried about you, Phil, it is awfully late and you’ve had a decent amount of wine. Please, I have a spare room that I would not mind you using for the night. It wouldn’t be a bother.”  
Phil’s cheeks were tinged with a spring colored blush and his eyes were just glossy enough to make Daniel’s knees slightly weak. He was enamoured with the man, undoubtedly. Phil sighed and nodded slowly, “I guess I should be safe and stay. I am not all that young anymore, after all. Alcohol just goes through me and I always regret it.”  
Daniel smiled softly, watching as he pried his shoes off again, relieved. “Being young is overrated, anyways. We, as humans, need to age to grow. The meaning of existence is to always be growing and aging.”  
Phil met his eyes, looking abruptly sober. “Is that what you think makes us human?” Daniel’s breath hitched in his throat. The question was loaded, heavy, and hung in the air like fog. It hovered between them and unexpectedly the distance between them was too small and too large all at once. Daniel’s head was swimming as though he had drank the whole bottle of wine. He steadied himself again, grounding himself. Phil was the first to break the trance as he headed for the couch and plopped himself down on it, looking utterly exhausted. “I would not hate to be immortal. Aging is hard and death is terrifying.” There was such a vulnerability within his words, his confessions.  
Daniel wandered down the step and to the coffee table, originally intending to sit on the other couch, but instead perching himself in front of the other man. “Immortality is not all that you think it would be.”  
Phil’s lopsided grin was making Daniel’s chest hurt again. “Why do you say that?”  
“For starters you would lose your sense of wonder,” Daniel’s voice was quiet, but the apartment was quieter. These were things that Daniel was sharing from experience, a vulnerable expression of his existence that he hadn’t shared with anyone in his entire time alive. “You think it would be amazing until you realize you will see everything in your lifetime and you’ll see it thrice over. Sunsets will never be as beautiful as you remember them. The warmth of the sun feels like a hindrance and the cold of winter is the familiar sense of isolation. You no longer would feel the joy of seeing something you’ve never seen before or being somewhere you haven’t been. The true excitement of being somewhere you’ll never be again or going somewhere as familiar as home. It all loses its wonder. You have to watch those you love die, those you know will never remember you. At some point you start forgetting everyone you knew, everyone in your past. What was your mother’s name? Where did you grow? What was your best friend like? Was there a creek by your house or was there a desert? How many siblings did you have? You won’t remember. You won’t remember at what age you met someone and at what age they died. You won’t remember the feeling of a lover you thought was your last caressing your skin and you won’t remember the one after that, either. You won’t remember anything you found important at one moment. Everything will be a daze, everything will blur. At some point you’ll stop caring. You’ll stop interacting and you’ll stop loving. You will also stop being interested in things. You no longer have the drive to learn and the yearning for adventure because you have literally all the time in the world. You lose everything that makes you feel human. I truly believe that aging is the key to humanity. If we never age, we never experience. We lose everything. I would chose mortality over immortality every day of the week.”  
Phil seemed to absorb everything Daniel said; seemed to absorb the way that Daniel was hunched, shoulders heavy and broken; seemed to absorb the desperation clinging to his tone.  
Phil leaned over on his knees, mimicking Daniel’s position, his face inches from Daniel’s at this point. Daniel’s breath caught in his lungs, his throat constricting as though he were being choked. Phil’s lopsided, tipsy grin was back, his eyes flittering over Daniel’s face, ingesting everything that was Daniel. His lips barely parted as he spoke, his voice a mere mutter. “Maybe you haven’t experienced immortality with the right person then.” Daniel was frozen, his lips parted and eyes stuck on Phil as he withdrew slightly to continue speaking. He had been so close his breath had fluttered over Daniel’s face; he was able to taste the wine from his words and Daniel’s throat was both constricted and dry. “I wouldn’t let that happen. The joy of being immortal is that you would get to see the sunset every day and know that it was going to be just as beautiful, but unique. Every day is different, no matter how routine it is. It would be beautiful to watch as every place you know changed and grew and how the world shifted during the time you had been gone. You could watch the world grow rather than watching yourself grow. It would be beautiful to see and know that every day you were going to wake up to it. As a mortal, tomorrow isn’t promised. With immortality, you can go to sleep knowing that tomorrow will always come.”  
Daniel wasn’t sure what to think. He hadn’t thought of it in such a manner, but it made sense. It just didn’t make sense to him as to why he had never thought of it that way and it made him regret ever living in such depression for so long, as if he had never had a way out. He realized in that moment that he had spent centuries wallowing, not appreciating the world and all of what it had to offer. He had travelled across it entirely at least seven times by now, visiting every single place he could. He had no joy left by the fourth but he kept trying. Perhaps he had gone about it the wrong way and perhaps Phil was right. He just hadn’t spent it with the right person. His tongue was heavy as he swallowed and nodded, finally dragging a response from his broken brain, “I guess that is one way to look at it.” Phil beamed at the acknowledgement. “Let’s get you to bed, though. It’s late.” Daniel stood and Phil followed, the apartment quiet save for Phil’s heavy steps and Daniel’s quieter shuffles.  
Daniel opened the door to the spare room and turned on the light. The bed was large and sat in the middle of the wall to the right, two bedside tables beside it. The closet was tucked in the corner on the opposite wall and a long and short bookshelf sat on the opposite wall of the door. A set of matching dark green plush armchairs sat on the wall beside the door with a small round table between them and a dark purple throw tossed messily over one. It was plain, but it had the most color of the apartment, decorated in deep jewel tones and neutrals. Daniel gestured in, “Make yourself at home. In the morning if you are hungry and up before I am feel free to help yourself to any food in the kitchen. You will not bother me. Feel free to snoop about the apartment as well. I don’t mind. Come get me if you need anything. There should be a spare set of pajamas that fit you in the dresser.”  
Phil thanked him and he turned to exit. Pausing momentarily, he glanced over his shoulder, “And Phil?” Phil looked up from his amazement of the intricate cream filigree pattern nestled into the dark green of the comforter, the silk sheets an equally dark shade of emerald green. “Sleep well.” Then he was gone, closing the door and disappearing into his own room.  
He glanced to the piano, his empty glass of wine still perched on top like a trophy of the night. Daniel did not move it. Rather, he stripped to his pants and flopped into bed, tucking his face into the sheets. His face was split with a smile so wide and genuine it nearly hurt. He felt the heat rushing through his body and the emotions stirring within him were so overwhelming he thought he could cry. Daniel was happy, for the first time in centuries. 

 

That morning the apartment seemed lighter. There wasn’t anything truly different about it, but Daniel felt warmer and easier as he stood in the kitchen washing the dishes from last night. He had woken up with the sunrise, the curtains having been forgotten last night. Today all the curtains were open, the apartment filled with the natural cool lighting of a cloudy spring day. Everything felt slightly better and Daniel wasn’t sure why.  
As he set another plate into the dishwasher next to the sink, he was reminded he was not alone. The soft slapping of Phil’s feet reminding him of the company. When Phil entered the kitchen he did so with a bright grin and a slight stretch. The grey tee shirt and black trackies Daniel had in the spare room looked wonderful on him, though awfully plain for the other man’s eccentric wardrobe. His hair was mused tiredly, the quiff slightly flat and hairs standing up at random, and his bright blue eyes were tucked behind his askew glasses. He looked a right mess, Daniel would admit, but it was an incredibly endearing and surprisingly intimate sight. “Good morning,” Daniel finally said as he yawned. “I trust you slept well?”  
Phil blushed brightly and nodded, “Sorry about drinking too much last night. I kind of lost track of both time and wine while listening to you playing. It was lovely.”  
Daniel’s lips gave way to a soft smile, a feeling flittering through his extremities and causing the plate in his hand to tremble slightly. “Worry not. I am just glad you had a good evening.”  
“I did!” Phil said brightly, his demeanor growing more expressive the longer he woke, “I would actually like to do this again!”  
Daniel nodded and realized he had been scrubbing the same plate the entire time. He coughed awkwardly and rinsed it, placing it gently in the dishwasher. He wiped his hands on the towel he had slung over his shoulder, before turning to Phil and nodding slowly. “I would quite like to do this again, as well. Possibly next week?”  
Phil smiled and winked, “Sounds like a plan to me, Dan.”

 

Eating dinner together and watching the sunset had become a routine that Daniel wasn’t upset with, nor did he tire of it. Phil would stay the night every weekend now and every night Daniel would play him one song after they retired to the apartment. Sometimes, Daniel would play for him as the sunset, a special request from Phil himself. It had gone on for months now, mid-May rolling around and clinging to the earth with long stretches of clouds and rain and sudden bursts of extreme heat. It was becoming summer and Daniel wasn’t sure when he had stopped caring about the seasons, but he was certain of when he started caring.  
Now they stood on the rooftop once again, enjoying the cloudy day. It wasn’t looking like they were going to be gifted with a sunset, but they stood there anyways, basking in the dim greyish lighting pouring through the overcast, drenching the already grey city in a monochrome lighting. Daniel typically would have spent the day sitting inside and doing something menial, but he couldn’t think of anything else he would rather be doing. At this point, Daniel couldn’t remember life before these days with Phil and he couldn’t remember the days he spent without him, either. It seemed like those days were just a blur and everything was the same. Days like today passed fast, but he could remember every detail.  
Phil was talking at him currently about a trip he was planning up north to visit his family. Daniel was only half-listening, more or less just admiring the other man. His pallor was incredibly obvious in the cool lighting and it showed the blue tinge of stubble forming on his cheeks and jawline; it brightened his eyes into a steely blue and the slight hue of purple that formed on the inner corners was more noticeable when he was without his glasses. The sharp dip in his nose and the outline of his silhouette were all far too distracting for Daniel to be able to concentrate on the words flowing from his lips. He could smell him, even from the distance, that same sweet but tangy scent that melded so nicely with the scent of the wet concrete and bakery and pollen and Daniel found himself wanting to capture it in a cologne to spray on his pillow.  
“Daniel?” His train of thought was interrupted suddenly, Phil catching his attention quickly.  
“Yes?” Daniel’s voice was croaky and nearly unheard. He cleared his throat and spoke again, “Yes?”  
“I asked if you wanted to come with me. I’m sure my family wouldn’t mind meeting you. I’ve told them about you, actually, and my mum is excited.” Phil’s voice was nonchalant, but his shoulders had tensed and rolled forwards, the fear of rejection clear.  
Daniel cleared his throat again, feeling it tense under the sudden stress, “Excited?”  
“Yeah,” Phil said, looking away, though the soft flush of pink was obvious against the entirely cool background, “She’s excited that I have made a decent friend. She’s always so concerned with the fact that I don’t make friends. Sure, I’m nice and outgoing, but truly I don’t like going out and it costs me friendships. Being an introvert and all that. It kinda sucks, but it’s been that way for years. I had a temporary spurt in Uni where I went out a lot. I think I spent all of my extrovert-ness in that period.”  
Daniel’s smile was gentle as ever as he listened to Phil speak, the tension in his body melting at the idea of going away with him. Phil, however, still looked incredibly shy and insecure about his response. “I wouldn’t mind coming, so long as it is okay with your family.”  
Phil’s body relaxed instantly, his smile less tame and his eyes much glossier. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that they couldn’t see the sun; Phil was brighter than any sunset they could watch, no matter how sappy that made Daniel feel. Staring at Phil was better than the sunsets that he had spent centuries watching, better than any sensation he had ever experienced. It was pure, unadulterated joy and Daniel was consistently wondering if he could harness it, bottle it, and store it for later. Mayhap, Daniel thought as Phil continued on with another story, it had been harnessed by the universe and bottled; contained within a body nearly as tall as his own and labelled Philip. 

 

 

Daniel wasn’t positive on the first time he thought about kissing Phil. It didn’t happen overnight, but it definitely had hit him suddenly. It must have been on one of their sunset binges, the orange glare lasting for nearly an hour now that it was mid-July. They had long since fallen into the routine of Phil spending multiple nights at Daniel’s now, rather than just the weekend, and occasionally they would share the living room in a teenager-style sleepover. Daniel hadn’t experienced being a child in this era, so it was an interesting process for Phil to explain as they had built their first pillow/blanket fort.  
Daniel was nearly certain that the first time he had thought about kissing Phil was when they had gone to his parents for the first time and spent an extended weekend there. They had wandered up a hill and watched the sunset, despite them being a far distance from Daniel’s rooftop. Daniel was certain that on the foggy northern shore with dripping gold beams seeping through dark clouds and the ocean black as night decorated in the same strips of light was where he felt the urge to kiss Phil. It had to have been the salty lick of the air and the muggy heaviness that held fast over them and the nipping wind and Phil’s rosy cheeks and the gloss over his eyes and Daniel was enamoured before he had left the shore. Daniel didn’t think it would extend to this point, but it had, and now he thought about it a lot.  
They stood now on the rooftop, a familiar hang out, though today it was a Thursday night and Daniel had promised Phil a quiet place to do his work in peace.  
Now, though, they watched as the dry air glittered with heavy sunbeams and the sky glowed in neon orange and green and tinges of red in a style that Phil had described as apocalyptic. Phil’s blue eyes glowed green in the lighting, the orange of the sky murking the blue and his cheeks were tinged red from the heat, his skin slightly sweaty from the heat. Daniel was listening as he spoke about a wacky encounter with some guy on the tube the other day and his smile was wider now, though not fake. He was growing accustomed to smiling again, accustomed to being happy. He tried to not think about the fact that this was a huge chunk of Phil’s life, whereas for Daniel, it was merely a small blink in time. He hoped he wouldn’t forget Phil. He doubted he could, honestly, with the fact that Daniel hadn’t felt this way about someone in the centuries he had been alive. Daniel enjoyed Phil’s company, even if for just a moment of his life.  
When Phil slowed and Daniel laughed at the conclusion, the silence was comfortable. They leaned on the railing, arms dangling over the oblivion, enjoying the moment where the city was music and time had stalled.  
Daniel’s voice was quiet and he hadn’t meant to speak, but his voice was flowing from his lips and joining the symphony of the city regardless, “I don’t want to forget you, Phil.”  
Phil looked at him with a crooked grin, their eyes meeting. Daniel was sure his eyes looked tired, sure he looked defeated, he felt his body crumpling under the age. Phil, though, Phil was full of energy. He was so full of life, so full of light, so full of pure energy, it was nearly impossible to be tired around him. Everyone in a room was dull compared to Phil. Everyone was a faceless form that melted into a sea of monochrome neutrals. Not Phil, though. Phil was a beacon of light in a way that no one else was. Daniel felt revived being around him. If Phil noticed his awe mixed with depression, he didn’t mention it. “You won’t forget me.” He said it with such confidence, such assurance, that Daniel almost believed him.  
He shook his head. “I will.” Daniel insisted and looked away to the city bustling like ants below. “I always do.”  
“Alright, melodramatic king,” Phil mocked good-naturedly, before patting his shoulder and shuffling closer, “I promise you won’t forget me. I will make sure to leave a good enough impact.”  
Daniel met his eyes again, watching as the light from the sun finally dipped behind the skyline and left them in greenish darkness. Daniel’s mouth was dry as he stared at Phil, admiring his skin and his flaws and his nose and every pore that dotted his skin and the way he looked so human and so alive and so alive and so- alive.  
Daniel couldn’t remember ever seeing someone who looked like life, but Phil did. Phil looked like a living being, like life shoved into a body, not just an animated corpse. He looked like someone who lived, not existed. He glowed with a radiance that Daniel hadn’t seen and perhaps that’s why he chose the man. Perhaps he was making up for everything he lacked and everything he wanted and everything he needed. Perhaps Phil was a fill in for everything he could not have on his own. Perhaps it was the completion of his own being that Daniel craved from Phil. He wasn’t sure, but the overwhelming urge to kiss Phil was strangling him now, begging him to duck forward and steal his mouth. He hadn’t kissed someone in years, having had a few meaningless hook-ups along the way, but he hadn’t kissed someone with love in centuries. He wondered if Phil would taste as good as he always smelled; the tangy citrus having been replaced with something sweeter like ice cream and caramel. Daniel constantly wanted to lick his flesh and see if it was sweet or salty or if he tasted like something uniquely Phil that was completely unreplicable. Daniel wanted to feel if his hair was as soft as it always looked when he woke up and it was flat. Daniel wanted to know if his skin was as smooth as every sunbeam made it look. He wanted to feel everything that was Phil, engulf his senses in him entirely. It sounded bizarre and slightly creepy to Daniel as he thought of it, but the desire was strong.  
Instead of kissing him though, Daniel nodded, drawing himself from the stupor he had entered unknowingly. “I suppose you have made a rather large impact already.”  
Phil’s smile wasn’t goofy, rather pure happiness. “I hope it’s for the better.”  
“Definitely.” 

 

Phil had spent enough nights at Daniel’s now for him to nearly be considered a roommate. He knew where everything was and he kept a bunch of clothes in the drawers of the spare room. Daniel didn’t mind. He liked the remnants of another person, realizing how lonely the apartment was without Phil in it.  
Daniel didn’t like the idea of living alone any longer and tonight he planned to bring it up. It was the end of July now, August coming quick and his lease was coming up for renewal that month. He hoped that Phil would sign on, even if he didn’t pay rent. Daniel just wanted the company more than anything.  
As they stood on the roof, Daniel explained it with a stuttering tongue and nervous hand twitches. He felt himself shuffle uncomfortably as they stood and he tumbled over ways to make it non-obligatory and that they could still hang out if Phil said no.  
Phil grinned eventually though, wide and bright and glowy as ever and Daniel felt himself melt into the cement. “I’d love to! I’ve been enjoying staying over. I hate the loneliness of my apartment, honestly.”  
Daniel’s smile was larger than any he had given thus far as he nodded in agreeance, “I have to admit the same. I do not enjoy the solitude as much as I had once. I truly feel as though I would do better with you around more. As I said you don’t have to pay rent, I really don’t mind. If you wanted you could buy your own foods and whatnot.”  
Phil shook his head, “I’ll pay at least a portion. I’m not sure I could afford half considering what I imagine the price of this place to be, but I can pay a portion. We can get it sorted.”  
Daniel’s smile was big and genuine and the urge to kiss Phil was heavy once again.  
Once again, he did not. Rather, he nodded, “We will get it sorted.”

 

Phil had officially moved into the spare room, his stuff cluttering the apartment in a way that did not anger Daniel. His knick-knacks lined the newly placed shelves in the living room, the alcoves in the walls decorated with large plants. The kitchen had several new and eccentric gadgets that weren’t up to Daniel’s aesthetic, but were completely captivating for Daniel. He adored the random silly and childish things that Phil had thrown about the apartment. In the dining room he had hung an over the top large pixelated red mirror on the far wall. The kitchen held random small toys, a toast maker that burned a smiley face into the bread, and colorful utensils. The living room was dotted with books and shelves and colorful throws and unnecessary small decorations. He had filled a bookshelf with board games, video games, DVDs, and books. His bedroom was decorated in a mash of green and blue and grey and wood and books and clothes. Phil was spreading the color of his soul around the apartment and Daniel was drinking it all in, soaking up the beauty that came from something as simple as a new color palette.  
There were things Phil did that Daniel should have found annoying, though: he left his socks all over the apartment, he rarely closed the cupboards, he forgot the lights on a regular basis, his shoes were always askew by the door, sometimes he laughed too loudly at a video he was watching in his room. Daniel should have found these traits annoying. Instead, he found himself vying for them, feeling his heart jump every time, feeling his soul rejuvenate at the reminder he wasn’t alone- not anymore. Daniel wasn’t alone finally.  
It was October now, the stage where Phil was finally comfortable in the apartment and had started referring to it as home and Daniel felt his heart jump every time he mentioned the word. The weather was getting chilly and storms were coming in at random.  
Tonight, a thunderstorm hit London- the first in a year.  
Daniel couldn’t explain why, but despite having been alive for an obscenely long time, he was still terrified of thunderstorms. The crashes of the thunder and whipping wind and slamming rain all lead to a cacophony of Daniel hiding under the blankets until he felt like the danger was dismissed.  
This time, he had been asleep when the thunder struck and startled him from his sleep. A shout tore its was through his throat violently, echoing in his empty room. He hadn’t meant to be so loud and hadn’t even realized he was awake until Phil entered the room, looking concerned.  
Daniel jumped at the intrusion, surprised by it, then shouted again at the second clap of thunder as it rolled through the apartment.  
“Sorry!” Phil stuttered as he watched Daniel shivering, “I should have knocked, but I heard you yell and I was concerned. I didn’t think you’d hear me over the rain. Are you okay?”  
Daniel went to say yes, went to shoo him, went to apologize, but a whimper came out instead as another lighting bolt reminded him of just how high up they were in the storm. The thunder made him duck once again.  
Phil seemed to put two and two together, heading for the bed quietly, his feet slapping quietly unheard under the sound of the rain. He sat on the bed and Daniel felt the dip, felt the shifting of the sheets and blankets. His hand pressed against Daniel’s back suddenly, gently, a grounding sensation. “I actually love stoms, you know why?”  
Daniel peeked out from under the blanket, brown eyes wide and scared and Phil looked fond of the moment. “Why?”  
“I think they’re so pretty and wild. Completely untamable and new and unexpected. You never know what’s going to happen. I love the rain and how the wind sounds like it’s singing and how it feels like you’re in a completely different universe.”  
Daniel felt himself relaxing under the heavy reassurance of his hand.  
“Daniel?”  
He hummed in response.  
“Can you do me a favor?”  
When Daniel met Phil’s eyes again they were heavy and deep and in the darkness he almost couldn’t distinguish his features, but his cheekbones were sharp against the light and it made Daniel’s mouth dry once again. He hummed.  
“Play for me.” Phil looked to the piano and Daniel looked at Phil. There was a long pause where the rain and wind were louder than the silence and Daniel’s heart thudding in his chest.  
Daniel crawled from the bed after a moment and shuffled to the piano. He had never played in a storm before. He opened the lid and played a small scale, flinching when thunder crashed through the apartment. Phil was there, though, to brush his shoulders gently through his thin nightshirt and remind him there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. Phil was there to shush him through the fear. Daniel played finally, playing a sad song mingling with the rain and thunder and wind nicely and Phil watched him not from the chaise but from the edge of the piano. His eyes never left Daniel, glued to his dark form intensely, watching as the man lost himself in his music, the storm providing background music. It was an incredibly intimate moment, Daniel would later think, something about the night felt unreal. Almost like Phil was right- it was another universe.  
That night, Daniel stopped fearing thunder. 

 

The quaintest part about not being alone any longer was waking in the morning to the scent of freshly brewed coffee and tea. Phil had taken the initiative to start preparing breakfast for the two every morning. Sometimes it was simple eggs and toast and their respective beverages, but others it was intricate crepes and jams and potatoes and meats. It depended on the day and how much time they both had. Their schedules had remained synced after their initial start of dinners, their weekend and shifts starting at the same times. Daniel hadn’t thought of how nice it was until the days where Phil was called in on his days off or early and Daniel was left alone. It always left his chest feeling slightly hollowed.  
This morning, though, was planned to be spent together. Daniel made his way to the kitchen, not having changed from his pajamas yet, despite the slight intimacy of the action. Phil stood at the stove, wagging his wide hips slowly to a song Daniel didn’t recognize. It was a relaxed song, with a quiet beat and a lovely female vocalist. He was stirring some scrambled eggs and vegetables on the stove. Daniel watched from the archway as he turned off the burner and spilled the eggs onto a plate. He glanced up and caught Daniel watching him. Instead of being put off, he smiled brightly behind his glasses and his own pajamas and waved. He had grown used to Daniel hovering always just in his peripheral and he hadn’t complained yet. Daniel felt as though he should stop but watching Phil do mundane things was much more interesting than doing mundane things.  
“Breakfast is almost ready.” Phil headed for the fridge and pulled out a creamer before heading to the toaster.  
“What music is this?” Daniel asked instead, heading to his open phone that lay on the island.  
“It’s Lorde,” Phil responded, “I’m surprised you haven’t heard her music. She’s gotten bigger over the past couple years. Here, this is one of her newer, more popular songs. You’ve probably heard it by now.”  
The song started off with some weird high pitched glitchy sounding words before her voice came through once again.  
Oh God, I’m cleaned out of air in my lungs it’s all gone, played it so nonchalant it’s time we danced with the truth.  
Daniel felt his breath catch as he listened to the lyrics and how close Phil was standing and the fact that this morning he hadn’t shaved and there wasn’t just a blue cast, but true stubble lining his lips and jawline. Daniel’s eyes were glued to his jawline as the music flooded the once quiet apartment and his throat constricted in a way that made it impossible to swallow as Phil mumbled the lyrics to the song.  
I’m acting like I don’t see, every ribbon that you used to tie yourself to me.  
Daniel’s eyes fluttered from his breath fanning across his face and his cheeks heated.  
But my hips have missed your hips so let’s get to know the kicks. Will you sway with me? Go astray with me?  
Phil backed up and headed back to the stove, the song still playing, but Daniel’s attention directed at Phil’s back now, watching his muscles move underneath the form fitting fabric.  
Phil had a wonderful singing voice, Daniel realized, as he listened to him sing the chorus. He turned dished out the eggs onto separate plates and buttered the toast as the chorus ended and the next verse came on and Daniel wanted to head back to bed.  
Phil turned back to Daniel, plates on the counter still.  
I know you’re feeling it, too. Can we keep up with the ruse?  
Daniel’s mouth stayed shut and dry and eyes captivated to a mouth the sounded the lyrics that weren’t fully registering at this point.  
I know this story by heart: Jack and Jill get fucked up and possessive when it gets dark.  
If it wasn’t for Phil singing, he wouldn’t have understood the breathy, quiet lyrics. Daniel wasn’t sure what to make of the situation.  
Phil headed for him, but disappeared behind him to where he had left their drinks and prepared them as he sang along with the song.  
Daniel didn’t pay attention as it ended and Phil finished their drinks and paused the app from playing another. “What did you think?”  
Daniel didn’t want to respond, didn’t know how to respond, but he gave a soft, warm faced smile, “It was good.”  
Phil beamed and nodded to the plates of food, “Grab those for me, yeah?”  
Daniel did, mindlessly and soft legged.  
Breakfast wasn’t quiet; Phil explained a dream he had and Daniel listened, distracted by the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he talked and swallowed and the appreciation for such a quiet and peaceful moment.  
Breakfast in the morning was nice.

 

“You’ll come, yeah?” Phil was hopeful, bright eyed and grinning.  
Daniel nodded slowly, unsure. “I will think about it.”  
Phil frowned and shook his head, “You’re coming! You really need to get out and make more friends, you know.” Daniel simply shrugged and retreated to his room. “You better be getting ready, Daniel!”  
Phil had told him about the work party he was attending that night at breakfast and had encouraged Daniel to accompany him. Whilst Daniel wasn’t sure about going, every time he rejected, Phil looked mildly sad. Daniel knew he was going to cave and accompany him, but he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of going to a party. Either way, he found himself stood in front of his closet searching for something that could pass as a Halloween costume. Phil insisted that they didn’t have to dress up, that it was optional, but Daniel didn’t like the idea of showing up in plain clothing.  
Eventually he settled for a fuzzy black jumper and black jeans. He was working on taming his curls in the bathroom when there was a quick knock on his door before it opened and shut. Phil had gotten into the habit of just walking into the room, but Daniel didn’t mind.  
“Dan? I hope you’re getting ready.” Phil’s voice echoed in the room.  
“Yeah, I’m in the bathroom. Come here.” Daniel said back finishing his hair. He pulled a black eyeliner from the drawer under the counter.  
Phil came into view and scanned him from toe to head, his eyes landing on Daniel’s. “So, what are you dressed as?”  
Daniel blushed slightly, “I was thinking of doing cat whiskers. I wanted to dress as a cat. Maybe we can stop and grab a set of ears and tail on the way?”  
Phil smiled and nodded, “I told you you didn’t have to dress up, though.”  
Daniel shrugged, “I feel weird not dressing up for a Halloween party.”  
“I’m not.” Phil said with a cocked brow.  
Daniel gestured to his ghost covered tee shirt, “But yours is festive. I don’t have anything like that, so I won’t fit in.”  
Phil chuckled, “Your entirely black outfit will fit perfectly, but if you want to get some cat ears we can.”  
Daniel gave a wide smile at that and Phil’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “I’ll be out in the living room when you’re ready.”  
He disappeared from the room and the door shut, leaving Daniel to draw on his whiskers. 

 

Daniel would be lying if the shops owner didn’t give him a strange look as he bought a female cat costume accessories kit, but he couldn’t have cared less as he situated himself in the taxi with Phil. They had just arrived at the venue where the party was being held and Daniel suddenly felt nervous. He hadn’t met any of Phil’s friends and he was mildly concerned they’d hate him. Daniel hadn’t felt the overwhelming urge to make people like him in- well, truly he couldn’t remember ever caring. He just didn’t want Phil’s friends and coworkers to disapprove for some odd reason. The closest to being this nervous was when he met Phil’s family, but they had adored him from the start.  
“Dan? Are you coming?” Phil’s voice broke through his concerns, bringing him back to reality.  
“Yeah, sorry. Just a bit nervous. Haven’t been to a large event in ages.” Daniel’s voice cracked on the word nervous and Phil’s expression softened a great deal, a comforting smile gracing his lips. Daniel swooned slightly.  
“Don’t worry, I’m here. If you feel uncomfortable we can leave at any point.” Phil’s tone was reverent and gentle. The term we being used heated Daniel’s cheeks and suddenly he was grateful for the late-autumn breeze that was nipping at their noses and turning them pink.  
“I will be fine. I should go out and have fun for a change.” Daniel insisted, not wanting to waste Phil’s kindness. The least he could do was entertain him, considering he was being so polite about everything.  
Phile nodded, “But if you feel the need for us to leave, we can. I won’t mind. Quiet Saturday nights with you are just as fun, honest.”  
Daniel wasn’t sure how to respond, but Phil didn’t truly give him a chance. He grabbed his elbow gently and lead him inside. Phil signed off on a sheet in the entry that he was here and attending with a guest and then led Daniel through a second set of large double doors. On any regular day, Daniel was sure the area they were in was boring. Cement floors and white brick walls made up the large square room. Tonight, however, purple lights lit everything up and cobwebs were draped on everything. There were people crammed inside the building, back to back, all shouting and having a good time as some song played over the speakers. Phil dragged Daniel to the foods table, situated by the entrance. He gestured to it and shouted, “If we get seperated, let’s meet here.”  
Daniel nodded in agreeance, thankful for the rendezvous point. Whilst there he grabbed a jack-o-lantern themed cupcake and munched on it. Phil was pointing out various coworkers and explaining their positions at the editing company. Eventually he found someone he was obviously friends with and dragged Daniel to them.  
“Jaime, Charlie, Diana, meet Daniel, my roommate.” Phil introduce, gesturing to each one.  
Jaime was tall, nearly as tall as Daniel and Phil, with short hair and dark eyes and was dressed in a James Bond styled suit with a matching fake gun and glasses pulled onto their head. Charlie was just a tad shorter than Jaime and was a ginger man with bright green eyes visible even in the dark purple lighting, dressed as a gingerbread man or something similar. Diana was just slightly shorter than Charlie and had waist length curly black hair and was dressed as a vampire with pale makeup and dark lipstick.  
“Daniel!” Diana said showing her teeth in a beautiful smile, “You’re the famous Dan. Phil has talked a lot about you!”  
Daniel’s cheeks heated and he was thankful for the darkness of the room. She took his hand and shook it firmly.  
“Yeah,” Jaime said reaching for his grasp next, “Sometimes you’re all he talks about for the day.”  
Daniel glanced to Phil to see him glaring at them both and pointedly avoiding Daniel’s gaze.  
Daniel just looked back to them and smiled, “I guess that’s a good thing. I was worried I had made a bad impression and he was just taking pity on me.”  
It was Charlie who laughed the loudest and shook his head, his curls flopping. “Goodness, no. He adores you! Apparently you’re the best roommate ever.”  
Daniel’s cheeks were hot again and he was worried he was going to faint. The room was too hot for him to be getting this flustered. He simply finished his cupcake as Phil intervened and started banting with the three. Daniel thought he should feel like an outsider, but rather he just felt content to watch Phil. Perhaps it was the fact that Phil would occasionally brush his arm with his, or would glance his way and make eye contact, or would lean in and ask in his ear if he was okay that made Daniel feel less forgotten about and more relaxed. It certainly caught his friends attention, as every time it happened one of them would catch it and grin.  
Daniel wasn’t sure what they were insinuating, but it made him blush every time.  
The night went on similar to the beginning, with Phil dropping by every random group and introducing Daniel with a smile that glowed with something Daniel could only identify as pride. Eventually, though, they made their way back to the foods table and were munching on some puffed cheesy chips when Phil looked troubled.  
“Are you okay?” Daniel asked after a moment of Phil being lost in his own little world.  
Phil seemed to tune back in at that moment and was finally looking at Daniel again. Phil looked mildly uncomfortable. “Ah, yeah, I’m sorry. It’s just… My ex-fiance is here.”  
Daniel felt his tongue catch in his throat. “Ex-fiance?”  
Phil flushed to the tips of his ears and jerked his head towards them in the crowd. Daniel turned and looked, finding a rather tall and petite blonde woman staring over in their direction dressed as a witch. She was beautiful, fit for Phil, if Daniel was being honest. He suddenly felt self-conscious and crossed his arms. So Phil wasn’t into men. Daniel checked that on his list, a mild disappointment flooding him.  
“What happened?” Daniel’s tone was bitter.  
Phil flinched, obviously picking up on it and looking back into his cup of punch. “Well, she was working with me, but in a separate department, but she shagged her boss and got fired because of nepotism. She has tried occasionally to get back with me, but it’s kind of funny because she’s still shagging him. So, obviously, I’ve turned her down. Not to mention she really did hurt my feelings then and all that, so I really haven’t wanted to try again.” He glanced up at Daniel, meeting his eyes for only a second before looking back into his cup. “Besides, I’ve found someone else I fancy and they’re quite a bit better for me.” He started drinking his punch immediately after, leaving Daniel no room to speak.  
Daniel felt his chest constricting tighter.  
Suddenly, Phil choked on his punch and pounded on his chest. Daniel panicked, reaching for him to steady him, but Phil shook his head and looked behind him.  
She had made her way to them and was standing behind Daniel now. She moved around him and worked her way between the two. “Philip,” She said brightly, “It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you.”  
She went in for a hug that Phil swiftly avoided by rounding her and standing next to Daniel. “Hello, Veronica. I’d say it’s good to see you again.” Phil was tense and more unamicable than Daniel had ever seen. Phil was always so nice to everyone. Daniel let his shoulder brush his.  
Veronica either didn’t catch the last half of his sentence or didn’t care, because she continued to smile. “How have you been, dear?”  
Phil shuffled, “I’ve been doing really well, actually.”  
“Good!” Her tone was absolute sugar. “Listen, Phil,” Her voice got a bit quieter as she stepped forward to talk to him, “I really would like to talk with you about us, I know what I did was wrong, but honestly, you can’t hold it against me for forever.”  
Phil glanced at Daniel and Daniel glanced back. Without thinking, Daniel wrapped his arm around Phil’s waist, gripping his hip tightly and slightly awkwardly. His heart was racing in his chest, fast and hard enough he was certain she could see it. He knew Phil had to be able to feel it, his shoulder pressed against Daniel’s left breast from the angle he pulled him at. “I’m sorry, I was being awfully rude,” He said, his tone unwavering despite the panic rushing through him, “My name is Daniel. I’m Phil’s partner.”  
Veronica glanced between the two, mouth slack. Phil looked shocked in a way that Daniel wasn’t ready to unload and Veronica looked confused. It took her a moment before she spluttered, “I didn’t know you liked men.”  
Phil shrugged and seemed to melt into the embrace, snaking his free arm across Daniel’s upper back, tugging him slightly closer. “I didn’t really. I guess I just found the right one after you left.”  
Veronica scowled, “I didn’t leave, you left.”  
Phil sighed, “Look, Veronica, I know this is a surprise, but it’s been nearly two years. Can’t you move on? Aren’t you and Robert happy? You’re still with him.”  
Veronica blushed and looked away, fidgeting with her dress, “I’m happy,” She admitted, “But he isn’t you.”  
Phil’s shoulders sagged and for a second Daniel was concerned that he was going to go back to her, leave him looking like a fool. Instead, Phil shook his head. “We had a good thing, but I’ve moved on. So should you. Maybe someday we can work it out and be friends, but Veronica, I don’t want anything else from you. I do wish you the best and hope you find someone you are truly happy with soon, because you deserve it. You made a mistake and I do forgive you, I just am not romantically interested any longer. Besides, Dan here makes me happy.” He caught Daniel’s eye and for some reason, Daniel didn’t think that last bit was an act. There was something about the way that Phil intentionally caught his attention to say it, intentionally made him acknowledge his words, that made Daniel’s heart thud heavily in his chest and his throat tighten.  
They both looked back to Veronica, who seemed on the brink of tears. “Well, thank you, Philip. I hope you both are happy as well.” And like that, she was gone. 

They both took a moment to breathe, the muggy air nearly suffocating and smelling of sweat and pastries and alcohol. The mob of people interacting and dancing and talking was enough to make Daniel want to abandon ship, but rather the two continued to stand by the snacks, still linked by the arms.  
Daniel was the first to pry himself away, his side slightly sweaty from the heat and nerves and he needed some punch to cool down. He was certain that initially it wasn’t alcoholic but by the end of the night someone had dumped a bottle of raspberry Smirnoff into it, the strawberry punch mix acting as a nice mixer. Daniel wasn’t a fan of vodka, but the liquid was cold and he needed it.  
When he turned back to Phil, Phil was staring at the ground. “Are you okay?” Daniel asked.  
Phil didn’t respond for a moment before glancing up and meeting his eyes. “Yeah.”  
“You’re looking awfully upset for someone who is okay.” Daniel pointed out, shrugging.  
Phil looked up and met his eyes once again, “That was awfully quick thinking on your part.”  
Daniel’s cheeks were hot again and he sipped his drink. “I don’t know what possessed me to do that, but I figured I should help out somehow.” Daniel had been alive for many, many years and yet now, in this moment, he felt like a child who got caught stealing.  
“Do you want to go get some air?” It was a random suggestion but Daniel agreed. They made their way through the crowd, out the double doors, through the small foyer and into the cold night air.  
The pavement was wet, signalling it had rained in the time they had been inside, the city smelling of water and cars and night. The cold immediately sent shivers over Daniel’s body and he was thankful for the thick jumper that he had been sweating in all night. Phil, however, was in a tee shirt and Daniel was suddenly concerned.  
Rather than dwell on the cold, Phil suddenly turned to Daniel and shoved him against the wall. Daniel’s immediate reaction was fear and regret, concerned that Phil was angry with his actions inside. Daniel’s apology was trapped on his tongue when Phil’s lips found his. The kiss wasn’t nearly as rough as the shove and they were much warmer than the air outside. Daniel hadn’t kissed someone in ages. He had had one night stands, sure, but as for a genuine kiss? He couldn’t remember the last time he had.  
He couldn’t remember the last time he felt his body warm from anothers in such a way. Phil’s body pressed against his perfectly, situating itself against him, pinning him to the bricks. The uneven surfaced dug into Daniel’s back, the wetness seeping in slightly. Daniel felt his mouth slacken slightly and Phil nipped his lip before pulling away, their eyes meeting. It had been so long since Daniel had felt the tingles and nerves and rush that came from a first kiss. This might as well have been his first.  
Phil shook his head slightly, a strand falling from the quiff. “Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have done that.”  
Daniel shook his head, mimicking his action but minutely, “I didn’t mind.”  
Phil seemed to stop and process that. “So, was that a I liked it I don’t mind or a I wish you wouldn’t do it again I don’t mind?”  
Daniel’s cheeks were surely red and his nose too, his lips wet with saliva that wasn’t his. He felt warm suddenly, the October air no longer biting at him, as he realized Phil looked the same. “The former.”  
Phil’s returned smile was genuine. “We should go home.”  
We. Home. There were those phrases again, the ones that made Daniel’s knees inexplicably weak, made his heart race. They were phrases that hadn’t ever truly been used in reference to him before. It was refreshing, nerve-wracking, and new. So new. So surprisingly new. Daniel hadn’t felt new in centuries and yet within the year Phil was introducing him to everything he had missed.  
Maybe Phil was right, immortality wasn’t terrible so long as you had the right person to spend it with.

 

Chapter Three:  
Ahhhhh the last chapter, I’m so excited. I hope you guys have enjoyed this.  
The next two months went smoothly, the new year just around the corner. They hadn’t officially became a couple, but they hadn’t not either. They shared kisses every now and then, leaving Daniel flustered and warm and Phil grinning. There was the occasional cuddle session, like the one they were currently entangled in, but otherwise, everything went rather normally. Daniel wondered if this was what it was like to be in a real relationship; it felt like he was just being around someone he was super comfortable with. It felt natural. Daniel wasn’t sure what being in a romantic relationship entailed besides what he had seen and heard from other people and movies, but this didn’t feel like what everyone else described. Being with Phil wasn’t like anyone else’s stories either.  
Phil would randomly leave notes across the apartment for Daniel to find, like small smiley faces or you look lovely written in dry erase on the bathroom mirrors or a sticky note with I hope today is a great day for you stuck on the island. Phil had gotten them a whiteboard for the refrigerator to keep track of important dates and events and occasionally there would be something silly scribbled on it for Daniel to look at and laugh.  
Phil would sing him random songs, his voice echoing through the apartment clear and enchanting. He would sing made up songs and songs Daniel didn’t know and songs Daniel did know. He would hum and belt and ooo his days away.  
Phil would make him tea every morning, a different kind every weak.  
He’d eat all the sweets Daniel would bring home for movie nights and then complain about stomach aches later into the night.  
Phil would pick a horror movie only to watch a comedy after Daniel got scared and hold him through the fear.  
Phil would listen to him play the piano for hours and never bore, never tire.  
Phil knew his favorite places to be brushed without ever having asked and he would trail his fingers gently over the soft skin of his arms and neck and lower back and Daniel would melt into the sensations.  
Phil would talk to him about anything and everything that came to his mind; the creative and out of the box thoughts, the deep philosophical questions, and occasionally the insecurities that plagued him. He showed Daniel a side that no one else saw and it made Daniel feel emotions he hadn’t ever felt before.  
Currently, they were laying across the couch, entangled completely in each other, the curtains open, revealing the snow fluttering outside, blanketing the city. It was New Years Eve and rather than spend it at a party, they hid away together in the apartment, enjoying their isolation and hot cocoa. As time struck down to midnight, Daniel couldn’t help but feel blessed.  
He glanced up to Phil and Phil looked to him and as they sat, listening to the last seconds countdown, Daniel mumbled, “Phil, I think I love you.”  
The television screamed with cheers of Happy New Year but the blood rushing through Daniel’s ears didn’t let him hear it. Phil’s blue eyes were wide, but eventually his expression softened, “I love you, too, Daniel James.”  
Daniel’s face heated as he craned down and kissed him, his lips eagerly finding Daniel’s. They were so soft, so perfect. They fit so well with Daniel’s that he almost couldn’t believe it. Everything about their situation was perfect. Daniel couldn’t imagine being anywhere else than where he was, couldn’t imagine living without Phil at this point. He wondered often nowadays how he had lived so long without him, how he had managed to survive without someone like Phil by his side constantly.  
The kiss deepened, their tongues softly tracing one another, teasing the other’s lips and teeth, but not sloppily and not messily and not crudely. It was delicate, soft, loving.  
Phil shifted so he was sliding up against the armrest, sitting now, dragging Daniel up his lap. Daniel moved to his knees, straddling Phil’s long legs.  
Both of them were wearing pajamas, hair messy, Phil in glasses. They were relaxing that day and the kissing they were doing fit the situation perfectly. They were slow and steady and their lips travelled languidly. There was no rush in this. Daniel didn’t feel the need to rush. He had spent centuries rushing through eras and time, watching it slip through his fingers like sand and unconcerned about it. Now, though, he didn’t feel like he needed to rush into the next era.  
Now he felt like he could relax.  
So he did.  
His shoulders slumped from eons of stress and his body became pliable against Phil’s. They were both large humans, their bodies not meant to contort together in such a way and yet there was something so comfortable and familiar about it even though they had never done this before.  
Phil’s hands travelled up and down Daniel’s back, tracing his sides through the thing nightshirt and occasionally grasping his hips tightly. Daniel’s hands held onto Phil’s shoulders, cupping his neck and hair whenever he felt like moving, otherwise his fingers stayed gripping the furthest ends of his clavicles, pressing into the flesh there and rubbing circles.  
They stayed like this for a while until Daniel sat on Phil’s lap after nearly twenty minutes of lazy kisses. Phil groaned deeply as he felt the friction on his erection and Daniel flushed, having not realized his reaction.  
Phil mumbled an apology against his lips, his breath chilling the saliva on his mouth. Daniel smiled and shook his head, kissing him again, grinding his hips down slowly. He was moving carefully and slowly, his body moving in fluid waves as he did so, eventually trading the forwards and backwards motion for a circular grind. Phil grabbed his hips and tilted his head back, groaning. His forehead was dampened with a slight sheen of sweat and a few curses spilled past his lips. Eventually his grip on Daniel tightened as he pulled his hips down and held him there. “Daniel,” He gasped finally, “If you don’t stop I’m going to cum and that won’t be fair.”  
His voice was breathy and desperate and deep and Daniel’s eyes fluttered at the sound of it. Surely he would hear it again. He decided tonight he wanted to just watch Phil.  
“That’s fine.” Was all he said before breaking away and continuing his slow and consistent movements. Phil hissed as his fingers dug into Daniel’s skin and his head tipped once again. Daniel leaned forward to watch as his eyes screwed shut, mouth opened slightly, nose scrunched. He looked erotic, Daniel decided. He also looked lovely. Daniel was completely enthralled by this human, completely encapsulated.  
Phil hiccuped and swore, his hips jerking and then he was cumming. Daniel felt the warmth of it against his bottom and knew both of their pants were soiled. As Phil calmed, he met Daniel’s eyes again and they both smiled.  
“Let’s go get you in the shower.”  
That night they shared Daniel’s bed. 

 

January first was sunny and they spent most of it cuddling and watching films. That evening, though, they spent on the roof, watching the sunset glitter in the snow. Daniel decided tonight was the night to talk to Phil about himself.  
“Phil,” Daniel said, his eyes not having left the golden rays painting the snow that lined the roofs and railings, “I have something to tell you. I haven’t been completely honest.”  
After a moment of silence, he looked to Phil. He looked uneasy. In the snow, he looked even paler, his skin translucent save for the redness in his cheeks and nose and ears and the glossiness of his blue eyes. He smelled like caramel and it mixed well with the snow and Daniel wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day in bed with him. Phil raised an eyebrow and nodded. His blue eyes looked nearly neon against the red jumper he wore and the golden colored sky. Daniel nearly forgot what he was saying. “Alright, let me hear this big truth of yours.”  
Daniel sighed, feeling his shoulders tighten. Phil didn’t sound angry or anxious, more curious. “This is going to sound unbelievable, but I’m not lying.”  
He seemed to relax at this as if his words were a reassurance that it wasn’t something bad. “I’ve got an open mind, Danny.” Phil’s face was true to his words, expression unguarded and docile, encouraging.  
There was a long pause before Daniel spoke, the city life and crisp breeze rustling dead trees and birds heading to perches filled the silence when Daniel’s words failed. Daniel sniffled, his nose cold, but the refusal to retreat before the sun left the stubborn men on the roof, one ready to spill his life to the other. His eyes watched the cars move down below as the story of him filled the air. “Phil, I’ve been alive for so long I can’t remember my age.” Daniel’s words were slightly choked, the vulnerability seeping into every word he spoke. “I don’t mean that figuratively. I mean it literally. I don’t just feel as a primordial being, I am one. I was cursed a long, long time ago, by a witch. To be completely honest, I don’t remember why. It had something to do with a lady falling in love with me but I couldn’t care less about her and she felt spited. The curse was placed and the witch gave me instructions on how to cure it, but honestly, I didn’t care. The excitement of spending eternity alive and exploring was good enough a promise to me that I didn’t care about curing it. It wasn’t until a couple hundred years later that I finally read the letter she sent me. It seems like she cursed it to follow me through the years, since I never seem to be able to lose it. The only way to break it was to fall in love, but I didn’t really think I wanted to, so I never did. There were a few times along the way, times where there were people I thought I could love, but mortality got so boring after a while and every time I realized they would die and I would not, my fascination was gone. I don’t remember where I was born, what year it was. I remember finding London built in wood and stone and watching the city be rebuilt in steel and concrete. I don’t remember any past lover or a moment where I felt alive. After awhile, I stopped feeling all together. I became desensitized to everything. Until I met you.”  
Daniel looked to Phil now, their eyes meeting levelly. Phil was expressionless in the moment; silent, but open.  
“The first time I saw you I felt so odd. I hadn’t felt something so strong in so long that I nearly forgot what attraction was. Talking to you and sitting with you in the coffee shop made me feel warm again, alive. I could feel the world around me. Every dinner and movie night, every morning coffee, every midnight crisp run. It all made me feel alive again. There was one point where I looked at you and I remember not caring if the time we had was finite, so long as I had it with you I would be alright. I didn’t care if you were to die, just so long as we could live together. Even temporarily, sharing the world with you seemed like the best option I could have. I’m not sure how I’ll know the curse is broken, but I don’t care. Truly, right now, I don’t care about the future, the past, or the curse. I just… I am enjoying life with you, I guess is what I’m trying to say. I’ve spent so long alone, so long hating everything, hating myself. I forgot what it was like to feel genuine happiness and I think you’re the only one I want to show me it again.” Daniel took a deep breath, the cold air burning his lungs and throat, his airways constricting as he found the courage to speak again. “What I’m trying to get out is that I think I love you. Like, I think I’m in love with you.” Daniel wasn’t sure when his speech became more modern or when he felt like he had adjusted to the times properly, but he was certain it had to do with Phil. Phil had made him adjust to everything so well.  
Phil was quiet for a long time, the sun dipping behind the buildings now and the birds roosting for the night already. It was barely four in the evening but winter was here and the days were short. When Phil spoke again, the last rays of gold and orange and red were melting like the snow and the sky was indigo and violet and navy and the stars had yet to make an appearance. It felt like a nice bit of time to speak in; quiet but alive. “I’m honestly not sure what to say,” Daniel felt his face tighten uncomfortably in the wake of his words but he didn’t shut down yet. “You love me?”  
Daniel felt his shoulders sag and he looked away from Phil again to the tiny passing cars. “Yes,” Daniels voice was heavy but light at the same time, “I think so at least. I think this is love. For everything I’ve experienced in my eons, I’ve never experienced falling in love. This just might be it, though.”  
“Describe it to me.” That caught Daniel off guard. Describe it?  
Daniel fidgeted with his fingertips before nodding his head slowly. “It’s hard to explain. When I’m around you I feel comfortable, relaxed. Whenever you touch me I feel like purring. It’s when you aren’t around that I really know that what I’m feeling isn’t a usual thing for me. I feel sad, inexplicably sad. I get tired and I don’t want to do much and I count the seconds until you’re home again. It’s less of the feeling I get when I’m around you and more of the feeling that I get when you leave that let’s me know this isn’t attraction or infatuation, but truly adoring love. I think everything you do is wonderful, even the things that should annoy me and even the things that do annoy me. I just,” Daniel breathed heavily and looked straight at Phil finally, his glowing blue eyes bright even in the dim lighting of the night that had fallen, “I prefer being around you to being alone. I thought I loved my isolation, but now I can’t stand it.”  
After a moment when it was clear Daniel was done speaking Phil’s expression softened and he smiled, “Well,” He said in a strong tone, the goofy grin on his face lighting up the night in a way Daniel had never seen before, “I’m glad you love me, because I, Philip Michael, love you, Daniel James.”  
Daniel’s cheeks heated and darkened against the cold wind, “I thought you said Daniel James was too formal.”  
“It is,” Phil said cheekily, “But sometimes too formal is nice.”  
Daniel’s laugh was soft but it melted in the breeze like a song and Phil seemed enamoured. “So, really nothing about the whole cursed to immortality part?”  
“The what?” Phil said, eyes wide, before laughing. Daniel followed his laugh. The stars were out now, twinkling like the tears pricking their eyes from the cold. Both their cheeks were flushed and noses red and runny. Daniel was sure his hair was a right mess from the breeze and occasional anxious hand. He couldn’t have imagined a more perfect moment though. It took several lifetimes, but Daniel finally felt like he understood the meaning of life. It wasn’t to adventure or become a millionaire or be a huge success in some obscure career. Daniel felt like the meaning to existence was to experience. He had spent so long secluded and shut off that he hadn’t really been human that whole time; there was no emotion in anything he did, no true joy.  
Going through life and truly experiencing everything it has to offer is what makes us human. Daniel’s mind kept repeating that, over and over as he stared at the wind bitten Phil giggling at some joke he had made. He couldn’t find a better way to describe it. Eventually, they both would die. Eventually, a favorite sensation would become boring. Eventually, sunsets would no longer be beautiful. Eventually didn’t have to come within his lifetime, though. Eventually would come eventually. For now, Daniel would enjoy what he had.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it all the way to the end, congrats lmao. I mean, this thing was long, haha. I hope you enjoyed! :)


End file.
